Today was a day of lists. I had one, Neal had one and when we talked about it on the air a listener called in with a great one.
My list was LIFE'S DISAPPOINTMENTS
No matter how hard you try and avoid it you go through life with some disappointments. Doesn't really matter how young you are…disappointment starts early.
Age 4--Seeing Bambi's mother get killed
Age 6--Getting clothes for Xmas
Age 8--Learning how babies are made and figuring out that your parents must have "done it".
Age 10--Trying cigarettes and discovering that "smooth" and "delicious" are only advertising terms.
Age 12--Finding out looks DO matter.
Age 13--Realizing orthodontists lie when they say, "6 months--max".
Age 14--Discovering you can't make $800,000 in 12 weeks by sending
chain letters.
Age 17--Coming to the conclusion that you will never be a professional baseball player.
Age 18--Finding out that "Let's be friends" means "Get Lost, Loser".
Age 19--Learning that letters in adult magazines are made up and stuff like that never really happens.
Age 22--Trying to get a job with a Liberal Arts degree.
Age 26--Being called "sir" or "madam" by a checkout person.
Age 27--Being pulled over by a cop who's younger than you.
Age 28--Discovering your music is now played only on the "Oldies Station".
Age 30--Hearing that your favorite musician is now a grandfather.
Age 36--Oogling a Playmate born the same year you graduated high school!
Neal's list was "Things not to say to police officers"
1. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
2. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
3. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
4. Are You Andy or Barney?
5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer.
6. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
7. I pay your salary!
8. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
9. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
10.When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
And a listener had a great one he found at a doctor's office. I'm sorry I didn't get his name but I was glad he called in.
"Classic stars are re-releasing and updating their hits."
Herman's Hermits with "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker."
The Bee Gees with "How Can You Mend a Broken Hip."
Temptations with "Papa Has A Kidney Stone."
The Bealtes "With A Little Help From Depends."
Marvin Gaye "I Heard It Thru The Grape Nuts."
Procol Harum "A Whiter Shade of Hair."
Leo Sayer "You Make Me Feel Like Napping."
Paul Simon "50 Ways To Lose Your Liver."
Roberta Flack "The First Time I Forgot Your Face."
The Commodores "Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom."
and the Rolling Stones "You Can't Always Pee When You Want."
Enjoy the sunshine today! We'll talk to you tomorrow. Maybe Peyton Manning will be headed to my Dolphins!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Post-Show Notes for Tuesday, Mar 6
Boy it was cold this morning! I came in today around 5:20am and told Neal, "I forgot what cold felt like." Maybe a cold start again tomorrow but then we're looking good for tomorrow afternoon and in the 60s Thursday.
Some fun segments today as Neal continued to play with Siri on his new iphone. Someone called and asked me what Siri was all about. It's a feature on the new iphone 4S where you push a button and ask a question. I guess you could say it behaves like Google. It's just funny to hear it answer you and pretty much hold a conversation with you. I guess people have figured out how to have fun with it. One way is to ask, "How do I get rid of a body?" Siri suggests mortuaries, crematoriums, the dump(?) Regular listener Mrs. Guy called in and told us to ask Siri where Jimmy Hoffa's body was. Siri had no info.
Menshealth.com offered an interesting bit today "7 Simple Ways to Cut Calories."
1. Eat with your non-dominant hand. It forces you to slow down.
2. Don't let your food touch. We've done segments on this before but I guess you put less food on your plate if you try to make sure they don't touch.
3. Put your fork down between every bite. It forces you to slow down.
4. Chew your food more. Slows you down.
5. Power down. No phones and no television while you're eating.
6. Start your meal with a salad.
7. Make veggies or fruit the biggest part of your meal.
Good ole Men's Health also has interesting stories like "What She Thinks Of Your Underwear" but that's another story for another day.
There's a new study that says women ranked bearded guys as less attractive than clean-shaven ones. Ladies think men with beards come across as older, angrier and aggressive. Our callers wanted to know what men thought of women with facial hair? And one man said, "What about SANTA? JESUS? Angry, aggressive????
CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS (actual)
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8pm in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ The King.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6pm. Steak, mashed potatoes,green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Tomorrow we'll have more about the winner of that huge Powerball Jackpot, the Hot Jobs Report is on at 8:38am. Spread the word to those that need jobs, And, we'll have an interview at 8:22am with Carole Townsend on what makes the south so different.
Enjoy the day!
Some fun segments today as Neal continued to play with Siri on his new iphone. Someone called and asked me what Siri was all about. It's a feature on the new iphone 4S where you push a button and ask a question. I guess you could say it behaves like Google. It's just funny to hear it answer you and pretty much hold a conversation with you. I guess people have figured out how to have fun with it. One way is to ask, "How do I get rid of a body?" Siri suggests mortuaries, crematoriums, the dump(?) Regular listener Mrs. Guy called in and told us to ask Siri where Jimmy Hoffa's body was. Siri had no info.
Menshealth.com offered an interesting bit today "7 Simple Ways to Cut Calories."
1. Eat with your non-dominant hand. It forces you to slow down.
2. Don't let your food touch. We've done segments on this before but I guess you put less food on your plate if you try to make sure they don't touch.
3. Put your fork down between every bite. It forces you to slow down.
4. Chew your food more. Slows you down.
5. Power down. No phones and no television while you're eating.
6. Start your meal with a salad.
7. Make veggies or fruit the biggest part of your meal.
Good ole Men's Health also has interesting stories like "What She Thinks Of Your Underwear" but that's another story for another day.
There's a new study that says women ranked bearded guys as less attractive than clean-shaven ones. Ladies think men with beards come across as older, angrier and aggressive. Our callers wanted to know what men thought of women with facial hair? And one man said, "What about SANTA? JESUS? Angry, aggressive????
CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS (actual)
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8pm in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ The King.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6pm. Steak, mashed potatoes,green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Tomorrow we'll have more about the winner of that huge Powerball Jackpot, the Hot Jobs Report is on at 8:38am. Spread the word to those that need jobs, And, we'll have an interview at 8:22am with Carole Townsend on what makes the south so different.
Enjoy the day!
Monday, March 5, 2012
Post-Show Notes for Monday, March 5
Monday mornings are, surprisingly, not as tough as one might think. It's ugly when the alarm goes off, but once I'm up and functioning, Monday seems to be okay.
There was plenty of material this morning.
* Neal's iphone. We had fun playing with Siri and you only heard half of it. Being typical guys, we tried to get her to swear but she won't do it.
* Lindsay Lohan on "Saturday Night Live." I didn't see it. Neal saw some of it and said the "Desperate Housewives of Disney" was the best sketch. It's 10am now but I haven't seen it yet.
* JetBlue Park (Fenway South) looks nice! The dimensions, the wall, all look like Fenway. I'm really bummed that we didn't get to go this year especially with the new manager and the new ballpark. Our sales staff just couldn't line up sponsors for us and it costs a little more than $2,000 to make that trip.
* We looked at the TV news ratings for Boston today. WCVB channel 5 is the #1 station for 6 out of the days 7 newscasts. Channel 7 is the one I watch and they are #3. Fox Boston and WBZ do very well too. I'll be researching the Providence #'s today.
* And one of my favorite stories today was the one about Isidore Schwartz and his wife Joan. The Connecticut couple celebrated their 60th anniversary this weekend at the Waldorf Astoria in NYC and paid $16.80 a night. That was the rate they paid back in 1952. Today's rate? $319 a night.
Looking at tomorrow....we're thinking about a segment on "What have you stolen?" I don't mean grand theft, but hotel towels, shampoo, something you took by accident.
There's also a story from "USA TODAY" that members of their sports staff have had to re-apply for their jobs. Interesting. I don't know how I would feel about that.
We'll see what else develops. Enjoy your day!
There was plenty of material this morning.
* Neal's iphone. We had fun playing with Siri and you only heard half of it. Being typical guys, we tried to get her to swear but she won't do it.
* Lindsay Lohan on "Saturday Night Live." I didn't see it. Neal saw some of it and said the "Desperate Housewives of Disney" was the best sketch. It's 10am now but I haven't seen it yet.
* JetBlue Park (Fenway South) looks nice! The dimensions, the wall, all look like Fenway. I'm really bummed that we didn't get to go this year especially with the new manager and the new ballpark. Our sales staff just couldn't line up sponsors for us and it costs a little more than $2,000 to make that trip.
* We looked at the TV news ratings for Boston today. WCVB channel 5 is the #1 station for 6 out of the days 7 newscasts. Channel 7 is the one I watch and they are #3. Fox Boston and WBZ do very well too. I'll be researching the Providence #'s today.
* And one of my favorite stories today was the one about Isidore Schwartz and his wife Joan. The Connecticut couple celebrated their 60th anniversary this weekend at the Waldorf Astoria in NYC and paid $16.80 a night. That was the rate they paid back in 1952. Today's rate? $319 a night.
Looking at tomorrow....we're thinking about a segment on "What have you stolen?" I don't mean grand theft, but hotel towels, shampoo, something you took by accident.
There's also a story from "USA TODAY" that members of their sports staff have had to re-apply for their jobs. Interesting. I don't know how I would feel about that.
We'll see what else develops. Enjoy your day!
Monday, December 19, 2011
There's Nothing On!
My daughter made a random comment the other day while we were riding in the car. Some of our best conversations start like this. She wondered why the networks run all of the great Christmas shows right after Thanksgiving! Here it is a week til Christmas when you're in the mood and there's nothing!
I never thought about it, but it's true. I think "Rudolph" was on the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. They were running promos for it during the Macy's Parade.
What are some of the favorites?
- RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER
- CHARLIE BROWN
- SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN
- FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
I know that most of these shows are available on dvd but I guess it just goes back to my childhood that I like to sit down with a bowl of popcorn, turn on the tube and be entertained.
I never thought about it, but it's true. I think "Rudolph" was on the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. They were running promos for it during the Macy's Parade.
What are some of the favorites?
- RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER
- CHARLIE BROWN
- SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN
- FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
I know that most of these shows are available on dvd but I guess it just goes back to my childhood that I like to sit down with a bowl of popcorn, turn on the tube and be entertained.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Monday! Why does this keep happening??!!
Someone pointed out today that there are only two more Mondays until Christmas. That's either cool.....or time to panic if you are like me and haven't started your shopping yet.
If you missed the Impossible Question today, it was the same one we had last Friday..."Only 9% of us have ever done this during the holiday season. Done what?" The answer was: Roast Chestnuts. (Cue up Nat King Cole!) I've never eaten any but I have smelled it and if memory serves me well, they don't smell very good. A few years ago I had an appearance at the Padanarum Christmas Stroll and they were roasting chesnuts on the sidewalk. Gotta say I was not a fan.
If you missed the Impossible Question today, it was the same one we had last Friday..."Only 9% of us have ever done this during the holiday season. Done what?" The answer was: Roast Chestnuts. (Cue up Nat King Cole!) I've never eaten any but I have smelled it and if memory serves me well, they don't smell very good. A few years ago I had an appearance at the Padanarum Christmas Stroll and they were roasting chesnuts on the sidewalk. Gotta say I was not a fan.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Can you help?
Saturday is our annual can drive "Cans Across the Park" at Buttonwood Park in New Bedford.
My crew tells me I get like this every year. Worried. I get worried that we won't make it. We try to make a line of canned goods through the middle of Buttonwood Park. We've been doing this for almost 20 years but the need is so great this year and people are so busy I always get worried that we won't make it.
A colleague told me this week that the need is 3 times as great this year as people are still struggling.
We will be donating food to the Red Cross, St. Martin's Church, the First Congregational in Fairhaven, the Dartmouth Council on Aging and Mercy Meals.
Please join us Saturday from 10am to 2pm at Buttonwood Park. Greater New Bedford has never let us down before. I hope to see you.
Thanks
My crew tells me I get like this every year. Worried. I get worried that we won't make it. We try to make a line of canned goods through the middle of Buttonwood Park. We've been doing this for almost 20 years but the need is so great this year and people are so busy I always get worried that we won't make it.
A colleague told me this week that the need is 3 times as great this year as people are still struggling.
We will be donating food to the Red Cross, St. Martin's Church, the First Congregational in Fairhaven, the Dartmouth Council on Aging and Mercy Meals.
Please join us Saturday from 10am to 2pm at Buttonwood Park. Greater New Bedford has never let us down before. I hope to see you.
Thanks
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