Post-Show Notes for Wednesday, Mar 7

Today was a day of lists. I had one, Neal had one and when we talked about it on the air a listener called in with a great one.

My list was LIFE'S DISAPPOINTMENTS

No matter how hard you try and avoid it you go through life with some disappointments. Doesn't really matter how young you are…disappointment starts early.

Age 4--Seeing Bambi's mother get killed

Age 6--Getting clothes for Xmas

Age 8--Learning how babies are made and figuring out that your parents must have "done it".

Age 10--Trying cigarettes and discovering that "smooth" and "delicious" are only advertising terms.

Age 12--Finding out looks DO matter.

Age 13--Realizing orthodontists lie when they say, "6 months--max".

Age 14--Discovering you can't make $800,000 in 12 weeks by sending
chain letters.

Age 17--Coming to the conclusion that you will never be a professional baseball player.

Age 18--Finding out that "Let's be friends" means "Get Lost, Loser".

Age 19--Learning that letters in adult magazines are made up and stuff like that never really happens.

Age 22--Trying to get a job with a Liberal Arts degree.

Age 26--Being called "sir" or "madam" by a checkout person.

Age 27--Being pulled over by a cop who's younger than you.

Age 28--Discovering your music is now played only on the "Oldies Station".

Age 30--Hearing that your favorite musician is now a grandfather.

Age 36--Oogling a Playmate born the same year you graduated high school!



Neal's list was "Things not to say to police officers"

1. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

2. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

3. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

4. Are You Andy or Barney?

5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a police officer.

6. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

7. I pay your salary!

8. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

9. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

10.When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"


And a listener had a great one he found at a doctor's office. I'm sorry I didn't get his name but I was glad he called in.

"Classic stars are re-releasing and updating their hits."

Herman's Hermits with "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker."

The Bee Gees with "How Can You Mend a Broken Hip."

Temptations with "Papa Has A Kidney Stone."

The Bealtes "With A Little Help From Depends."

Marvin Gaye "I Heard It Thru The Grape Nuts."

Procol Harum "A Whiter Shade of Hair."

Leo Sayer "You Make Me Feel Like Napping."

Paul Simon "50 Ways To Lose Your Liver."

Roberta Flack "The First Time I Forgot Your Face."

The Commodores "Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom."

and the Rolling Stones "You Can't Always Pee When You Want."

Enjoy the sunshine today! We'll talk to you tomorrow. Maybe Peyton Manning will be headed to my Dolphins!